When reflecting on the importance of listening to ourselves at those times of confusion and needed guidance, a few thoughts emerge for me. We might first question the fact that if we are confused, how is that we would be able to distinguish that inner voice that gives us the clue of how to proceed? How to recognize our voice amongst many other loud voices? We have so many thoughts, therefore, how to distinguish the ones that reflect self-sabotage from the genuine close to the heart ones.
Unfortunately, if you have had situations in life in which you learned your opinions and feelings were not important because they have not been taken into account by well-intended and loved people, it might be possible you might have a hard time distinguishing your inner voice. As a result, the seeded belief that your opinions and feelings are not important turns out to be the force behind many of your decisions. This places you at greater risk of making decisions against your best interest and well-being. It might look like you making the same old mistake or an act of self-sabotage. You might put a lot of energy on trying to ignore your thoughts, your inner voice, your feelings.
At the end of the day, the big question might arise as to why is this happening again? Why do I end up putting myself in situations that are not good for me? Why my life ended up being so complicated? So many why’s.
I think at these moments of so many why's,
at these moments of frustration at what our lives turned out to be,
during the dark nights of confusion thinking about what path to follow,
listening and only listening to your inner voice might prove to illuminate the path ahead breaking down our long mastery of dismissal.
It requires a considerable amount of reflection, silence, compassion, and nurturance but also honesty, a brutal honesty with yourself.
The spaces for these reflections might look like meditation, but it can also look like psychotherapy.
It might look like silence,
like quieting the chatter of the mind.
It might look like feeling deeply in silence and not falling into despair when feeling the unbearable.
Merari E. Fernández Castro,